Many people, especially in my generation, find it difficult forming new relationships in new environments, but technology seems to have made it easier. For instance, before coming to Howard University as a freshman, a lot of people formed relationships with each other through social media and group chats. No one wanted to be alone freshman week, so everyone used social media as a way to connect with other people in our class.
I’ve always been wary of using technology to meet new people and form relationships because its hard to tell what’s genuine and whats not through text messages.
I’ve met people who act completely different behind a phone screen than in real life; and there’s actually a term for when people act bold through technology but don’t keep the same energy in person. This is called imposter syndrome, and clinical psychologist Dr. Donna Wick writes about this. She compares it to when “‘kids text all sorts of things that you would never in a million years contemplate saying to anyone’s face.’” Through technology, its becoming so easy for you to say something to someone you would never say to them in person. Personally, this is making it hard for me to allow myself to form friendships over social media or through texting.
Not only that, but I also feel that technology has aided in breeding superficial relationships. It seems as though people are scared of face to face confrontation and discourse. It’s okay to disagree with your friends, and part of being a good communicator is knowing how to do it respectfully. Psychologists even view that skill as part of having a healthy self-esteem. Developmental psychologist Dr. Steiner-Adair, notes that “‘part of healthy self-esteem is knowing how to say what you think and feel even when you’re in disagreement with other people or it feels emotionally risky.’” When we text, we trend to euphemize anything risky we want to say with emojis or an occasional “lol.” You can’t do this in person with someone, and its evident that this is affecting the way younger generations form friendships.
To see if my thoughts on the effect that technology has impacted the way people form friendships, I interviewed three different people at Howard. I simply asked them their thoughts on this idea, which gave them the freedom to answer the question however they wanted to. The responses will be at the end of my blog but in general I found that they viewed technology as something that has improved friendships and helped them form relationships.
In Black and Write 